Little preface: My initial instinct, when sitting down to begin a blog post, is to look back at the past few months and see just how inconsistent I have been, despite all my attempts at regular posting. But this morning I read an article on productivity and idols that put things in sharp perspective for me. I may attempt to write more about that another time, but for now, I’m not going to waste time beating myself up for not blogging the way I want to, or the way I feel is expected of me. I’m just going to blog, and do it as often as I can, and leave it at that. BOOM. Now onto the real blog post…

Last week I had the chance to go to Justin & Mary‘s What’s Next tour here in DC. It was held at The Fillmore, a gorgeous live music venue in Silver Spring. I had other plans for the evening, so couldn’t stay for Justin’s lighting workshop (sad to have missed it!!), but Mary’s portion of the day was fabulous. I usually attend events like this and leave feeling sooooo overwhelmed by the amount of information presented that can’t digest everything well. Not this time! I left feeling well-equipped, and ready to tackle life and business, not overwhelmed by all I have to do.

Just a few take-aways:

• Don’t rush the “Nebraska Years,” those times when what I’m doing feels too small and insignificant, and the goals seem unachievable. You never know what those seasons are preparing you for. And it’s much safer to fail in front of 30 in “Nebraska” than in front of 10,000 in Atlanta.
• Remember to look at my experiences as a big picture. It’s the work that makes the hard times worth it.
• How I spend my days is how I spend my life. Don’t compare my beginnings with someone else’s middle, and waste my life begrudging someone else for theirs.
• Do anything worth remarking on, and I’ll meet with criticism.
• Stop wearing “busy” like a badge of honor. There’s nothing intrinsically honorable about being busy. It’s just… busy. And often times that “busy” is keeping me from doing the things that really matter.
• It takes three times as long to do a thing when I put it off as it does when I just do it right away. JUST DO IT!!
• If I don’t plan for it, I will get behind. It’s easier to keep a clean house clean, an empty inbox empty, and to keep up on editing if I never fall behind.
• Most bottlenecks in productivity or workflow arise from having one or more steps that you dread. JUST DO IT!! 
• Today’s bride is more concerned about the legacy of her photos, and less about the personality of her photographer. Market shift— I need to change with it. This doesn’t mean that personality ceases to be important, but that it has to represent something so much more.

I’m still chewing on a lot of what I heard, and I think I will be for a long time. I’m grateful for that.

And just grateful for Mary herself! She wrote something on her blog awhile back, just one little line that stuck with me. She said, “In those moments, before you know the ending, be willing to give it one more try. And allow yourself to consider the possibility that you might be wrong.” Those words were so helpful at the time, because they remind me to give myself grace, and to trust in God, who does all things well. And in the process, stop thinking too much about emotions, and start living in today, start giving things “one more try,” and the chance to succeed (or fail), and not expect perfection from myself when, in a lot of ways, this may be my first time doing things.

Here’s me, with Mary herself. Oh curly hair, why do you always insist on covering other peoples’ faces? Ha.

I’d love to hear thoughts on any and all of the notes I took! Thoughts?

A friend posted on my Facebook wall a few days ago, asking about how I “… do it all.” I would love to know your secret, she said. Like, how you manage to keep up with all your photo editing and live life at the same time.

Oh, friend. I sooooo know the exasperation and near-despair behind that question. I jotted off a few quick answers to her, gave it some more thought, sent her a few more answers, and then decided that if I’ve wrestled with this, and she’s wrestling with this, then there are probably lots of other people who are asking the same question. I certainly don’t have all the answers, and I’m definitely still troubleshooting and working through a lot of things myself (I mean, did you see my post from early this week?!?), but here are just a few things I’ve learned along the way. I hope they help others, too!

1. Set boundaries for yourself. Schedules are great. Timers can be helpful for some people. Be realistic about your expectations of yourself, and other peoples’ expectations of you.
2. Be okay with not being perfect. Let’s be real here— most people don’t notice the tiny little edits that we photographers spend hours painstakingly adjusting. It is a good and right thing to want to do our best for the sake of honoring the Lord, and giving the best possible produce to our clients. But it is NOT a good thing to be a perfectionist. Perfectionism is pride, and pride “lifts up the heart against God and contends for supremacy with Him.” (C. J. Mahaney, quoting Charles Bridges in Humility). Confront perfectionism, and reject it.
3. Keep the most important things as most important. For me, my priorities are God, my Church family, my other (non-Church-related) relationships, and my work. In that order. The other morning I spend two hours in the Word, journaling, and reading a chapter from Knowing God, because I knew my soul needed it. This is my busiest shooting month, and I’m nearly overwhelmed with work, but I knew I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeded that time with the Lord to be able to focus well the rest of the day. I stopped work at 6:30 the other night to do dinner with my Community Group from Church, because those relationships are also important to me. Work is a very, very important thing. But it’s not Eternal. It simply serves to assist us in carrying out the Eternal things. It’s important to keep that in mind when prioritizing things on my schedule.
4. Insecurities are lies, and should be treated as such. I get really, really insecure about my work, about my business, and about the decisions I’m making involving them. I’ve learned that it’s not enough to simply acknowledge that I’m insecure. I have to reject those insecurities, and the lies that cause them, and speak direct truth to myself about them.
5. Find community in your Church, not your photography community, or in long-distance friendships. There’s a HUGE push right now to make fellow photographers your primary support group, or to have all your best friends as long-distance friends (the Internet has done wonders in making our world more flat!!). There’s nothing wrong with having some support among photographers, or having some close friends that live far off, but if that’s your primary support system, that’s unhealthy. For one, if photographers are my primary support system, I lose grip on reality. It’s easy to fall into thinking that everyone else’s jobs are easier than mine, or that no one else understands the level of stress I’m under. That’s not really accurate, though. Other, more “traditional” jobs may have different stress, but it’s not necessarily less. And if my closest friends are all long-distance, they can’t know my day-to-day life the way that day-to-day people can know it. God meant for us to live in community, and He intended for that community to be His Church— a group of incredibly diverse people unified around one truth, the Gospel— not a group of people who all do the same thing, or a group of people who all live other places.

What about you? Do you struggle to feel you have to “do it all?” How do you maintain a healthy work-life balance?

And do you have other questions??

I’m starting a Thursday blog series, attempting to answer questions that I hear often. Please submit questions!! Seriously— ask anything!!

“Success is not a profit margin, a vendor list, a venue, or even a six-figure income. It’s all about the couple and your art. Period. End-of-story.” — Jeff Youngren, photographer

Jeff wrote this yesterday in a blog post entitled “On Success and ‘Making It’.” A friend retweeted a link to the post with something like “What it means to make it as a photographer…” I clicked on the link, fully expecting to read some version of the American Dream— you know, the “success means not being limited by normal office hours, so you can make money and play with your kids whenever you like,” or “success means being true to yourself, about finding clients who want you, and let you be whoever you want to be,” or “success is all about connections, so network, baby! get your name out there!”

I’m not saying these are all bad things— someday, if I have kids, I want to be able to play with them without stressing out about work in the back of my head; I want clients who want me to shoot their wedding; and I’m all for networking, for helping others succeed and building relationships within my industry. But there’s a heck of a lot more to a successful wedding photography business than the ever-illusive and deceptive “American Dream,” and frankly, I get tired of reading about it and “how to get there.”

But I clicked that link, anyway… and halfway through the post found myself screaming “yes!!! yes!!! yes!!!” after every single sentence. It’s as if Jeff crawled inside my head and wrote what I’ve thought about and intended to write for months.

“Success is not a profit margin, a vendor list, a venue, or even a six-figure income. It’s all about the couple and your art. Period. End-of-story.” — Jeff Youngren, photographer

I believe this with my all my heart. I’ve built my business around this, and do my best to keep this at the forefront of my mind every day when I work. That’s why my Business Plan opens with a vision statement that says, “As Ampersand Photography’s owner, I (Sarah Danaher), am committed to genuinely loving people.” That’s why I sat down three months ago and wrote out a list that defines what success looks like for me, so that I can filter business decisions through that grid and keep myself on track. That’s why I have that list taped to my office window, so whenever I try to peek at the trees, I’m distracted by that sheet of paper.

Not everyone will agree with me on this point, but I really do believe that it’s possible to build a successful business around loving people well. I know I fail at this (often), and it certainly makes things more challenging, and I confess that I’m often at a loss as to how to do this. I also know that this “business model” isn’t right for everyone, and that’s totally okay. But I still believe it’s possible, and I still believe that it’s right for me.

How I define success:

• Loving God well— allowing His Word and ways to define my life. This means I pay attention to what the Bible says about life, and I do my best to live in accordance with it. The Bible says that loving God is the most important thing about I can and should do, and that what He says about me is the most important thing about me. This also means that I’m committed to living well as a Christian— that I’m an active, committed member of my local Church.
• Loving people well— self-sacrificially, giving time and energy to build into others’ lives. Intentionally contributing to other peoples’ success in life, business, and relationships.
• Having a clear mission statement— to keep in mind the reason that I work, and the way that I should work. Let me know if you want to read this… I’m happy to share it!
  
• Caring well for my clients— this means taking time to get to know each client well before they appear in front of my camera. I recognize the trust that my clients place in me, and I want to honor that trust. I want them to feel they are hiring, not just another photographer, but a friend.
• Earning sufficient income— so that I’m not a burden on those around me, so that I can give generously, and so that I can care well for those God gives me.
• Not allowing my work to consume or define me— my work, as much as I love it, is merely an occupation, not an identity. I must be careful to keep proper perspective on life, and not find my identity in my job. This also means having set work hours and clearly defined expectations for myself and those I work with, so I can work faithfully on a daily basis. (this is hard for me, but an area where I can see consistent growth)
• Working well, and continually striving to work better— I am keenly aware of the fact that I’m far from perfect in all of this, and that there are many, many people much smarter and better than I am. I want to keep an attitude of openness & humility, and glean all that I can from those who know more than me. Frankly, that’s a very long list, and I’m grateful for that.

To my fellow photographers:

• Define success for yourself. If you haven’t already, take some time in the next week or so and think long and hard about what makes you tick, what makes your business yours, and how you know if it’s successful or not. How do you define success? How do you measure it? What are the most important things to you? Write them down.
• Set some achievable goals to help you get there. Once you’ve defined success, how will you make it happen? How are you going to get from “here’s what I want” to “here’s what I am”?
• Keep your Success List somewhere close. Write out your list on paper, and then post it somewhere near your workspace, so you don’t forget about the important things.
• Involve someone else in your life. Share your “Success” list with a close friend, family member, spouse, etc. so that when they see you making decisions that take you away from success, they can help you get back on track.
• Be okay with being different. You’re different than I am, and I’m different than the Youngrens, and we’re all different from Jasmine Star and José Villa and Zach & Jody. My definition of success probably looks vastly different than yours, or theirs… and that’s as it should be. God created every person in a unique way, with unique strengths and giftings. Rejoice in those differences, maximize on your strengths, and stop comparing your definition of success to someone else’s.

To the readers out there who are thinking, “wow, this totally doesn’t apply to me at all“:

• This is really important for brides, too!!! Since wedding photographers are all about weddings, and weddings involve people, this post is actually very important for you. Why? Because the way a wedding photographer defines success will influence the way they go about shooting weddings and interacting with their clients. My goal is to love my clients well and to ensure they get the very best wedding pictures possible… which might mean pointing them in the direction of a different photographer. Since my definition of success is all about how well I love people, not how many weddings I shoot, then I have the freedom to find the best photographer for every client I interact with— even if that photographer isn’t me.
• This this is really important for engaged couples, too!!! Have you taken time to think through what will make your wedding a success or a disaster? What are the most important things, and how are you keeping them most important? What’s the point of it all? Remember that the marriage is more important than the wedding… so as you work through seating charts, favors, flower choices, and even honeymoon plans, make sure you’re taking time to invest in each other, not just in the wedding plans.
• This is really important for other small business owners, too!!! Every business has it’s own measure of success. Heck, every person has their own measure of success. Have you thought about what makes you successful? Have you thought about how to achieve that? Take some time to (you guessed it) make a list!
• This is really important for moms, too!!! What makes you a successful mother? Is it a clean house, folded laundry, and a gourmet meal every night? Or is it the time you take to invest in your child, to love your husband, to fashion place of nurture and a sense of security in your home? Take some time to think through success for you, and (you guessed it!) write it down!!
• This is really important for everyone!!! Our culture’s definition of success is skewed. We know that, we agree with that… so what are we going to do about that? What determines whether or not you are successful? Maybe success means being a faithful employee in a kinda sucky job, because that job provides well for you and your family, and gives you time to invest in other people. Maybe success means saying no to going back to work after maternity leave, because that would mean your baby would grow up knowing a nanny more than she knows you. Maybe success means being intentional about the way we think about work, life, people, money, possessions, and time.
• Ask: what does it mean to love people well? And maybe that will help you define success.

Summary: I need more film in my life.

Dear blog reader:

If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time— a week, a month, or for a few of you brave souls out there, a year or more— you will, undoubtedly, know several things about me. For one, I love photography. I love the sound of the shutter button, I love the way it allows me to grab one brief moment of time and record it forever, I love the way I get to use light to show off the prettiest and truest aspects of a person. I love the art, math, technology, and precision behind it all. I love the industry, even with all of its crazy quirks and challenges. I love “talking shop” with others who do the same thing I do, but in a different way than I do it. I love how unique it is, because every photographer is unique.

You will also know by now that I’m pretty much an open book. If something is important to me, I talk about it. If it’s hard, I’m not afraid to talk about that, too. I believe that the hard parts of life, and the painful parts of life, serve as buffing pads to shine up our strengths and make us stronger, more humble, more compassionate people. And because I like to talk, I share about many of those good, hard, painful, joyful aspects of my own life.

The thing is, I haven’t been real with you, or with myself, for that matter, about some very important things: my fears. I’ve been too afraid of what I’ve been afraid of  to talk about them, because I thought if I talked about them, they might come true. If I say, “I’m scared about _________,” someone might call my bluff and say, “well, that’s because your fear is reality.”

But it’s time for me to get real.

A year and a half ago I wrote a post on my old blog about some of these fears. “Sometimes I wonder if I can actually do this thing,” I wrote. I wondered if I was cut out to be a businesswoman, if clients actually liked the work I produced, if I could make it in this industry. Legitimate concern, valid question. But— although I asked some questions and outlined a couple of general fears (because it’s easier to use broad terms than to speak the fear aloud), I never verbalized anything specific, not to myself or to anyone else. Which means I never dealt with them. And guess what happened? They grew— stronger, bigger, louder, more controlling.

Two months ago I hit a wall. Again. After months and months of crazy juggling, working myself into the ground, and constantly feeling behind in everything, I threw my hands in the air and said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I was literally five minutes away from quitting my business and finding a “normal, boring desk job” somewhere. Literally. My sweet roommate talked me down from my proverbial ledge, and a bit of sleep helped to ground me a again, but the feeling of “I just can’t do this anymore” lingered in my mind. I needed help, and fast. But I didn’t know where to look, or what I was even looking for.

Time at WPPI helped— I realized that I need to completely remove photography from the equation, and learn how to run a business. I met with one of my October brides, and she used some of her training and experience in the business realm to narrow down my huge “I’M SO OVERWHELMED WITH EVERYTHING!!!” emotions to a concise to-do list with achievable goals. I talked to friends, got counsel from mentors, and tried to outline steps of action. But even with all of that help, I still felt tied back. As one friend said, “it’s as if you have a rubber band tied to your waist, and the farther you move forward, the harder it becomes.” She was right. And I needed to figure out what that rubber band was, and how to cut it.

Guess what? That happened. I attended Jasmine Star‘s theFIX on Thursday night. She had words of wisdom to share, and lots of encouragement to give, and I gained so much from listening to her share from her own experience. But the biggest thing was one little sentence she said toward the beginning of her presentation: “If you can’t believe it in your imagination, you can’t live it in real life,” she said. Her words stopped me in my tracks and brought me to tears, because I realized that although I’ve called myself a businesswoman, and I’ve called myself a professional, and I say that I’m a full-time wedding photographer, I don’t really believe it.

In other words, I found the rubber band.

In my mind I’m a 15-year-old girl living in a grown-ups world, pretending to be one of them, and scared to death that someone’s going to find out and call my bluff. I think that I’m a fake, and that eventually people will realize that and confront me on it, and then what will happen? I think I haven’t had enough training or experience to run a business, and that I can’t really understand things. I think that I can’t afford to hire people or to outsource, but I know I can’t do work well on my own, or work at all for that matter, and so I’m destined to mediocrity. I think that I’ll “do it all wrong” and get hefty fines from the government, and have to quit for financial reasons, so why not just quit now? I’m still bound by my “poor girl” mindset from 3 years ago— better to do it myself than pay someone else to do it, because money is valuable and my time is not— and it’s killing me, because I can’t do everything. I’m convinced that my clients don’t really like my work, but are too kind to tell me I suck. Even though I’ve been shooting for 5 1/2 years, I still don’t think that I really know what I’m doing, and just fudge my way through portrait sessions and weddings, and I carry a thick knot in my stomach the whole time because I know someone’s going to notice one of these days. I’m scared I’ll be a success, and terrified that I’ll fail, and not sure which I’d prefer. I’m half terrified and half desperate for someone to look through my put-on front and see the scared little girl inside— terrified because then I’ll be shown for what I really am, and desperate because I hate being that scared little girl.

I know that none of this makes logical sense. You’re dealing with irrational fears, you may say. None of those things are true about you, Sarah. I know they’re fears, and I shouldn’t be governed by them, and I know I’m believing lies that feed my fears. Let me remind you, though, that most fears are irrational, and nooooooo lies are true!! It doesn’t matter how much I talk truth to myself if I don’t really believe it.

I’ve let my fears freeze me, and I’ve let these lies marinate in my heart until they become my truth. And I am unwilling to do this anymore. In other words, my hands have grasped scissors, and the rubber band has been cut.

That’s my confession. I’ve kept fears locked down in the closet of my heart, and that closet turned into a prison around me. I’ve listened to lies instead of shunning them, until the lies talked instead of me. This is neither right nor good, and, in fact, denies the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life. So I’m changing things.

• I’m not a 15-year-old girl, pretending to be grown up. I’m a 27-year-old adult woman, I own a business, I love deeply, I take life seriously, and I can be taken seriously, too.
• I’m not a fake. I’m a real person, living a real life, in a real city, owning a real business, and sharing real struggles with others who do the same.
• I know I’m not the best businesswoman in the world, and I probably never will be— but that doesn’t mean that I’m completely inept or incapable. I may not have a degree in business management, but that doesn’t mean I’m incompetent. This is the work that God has given me to do, and He will give me the grace to do it well. So just start doing, Sarah!
• I’m not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but God has kindly blessed my business. And if outsourcing some work lets me do the remainder of it well, I’m going to do it.
• My clients hire me because they like my work. They wouldn’t hire me if they didn’t like it. Duh.
• I do know what I’m doing behind the camera. I’ve shot 80+ weddings to date, hundreds of portrait sessions, I’ve traveled the world doing photography for non-profits, and have taught photography to dozens of people. Sure, there are times that I feel stuck and insecure, but fear of failure isn’t the way to deal with that.

And there you have it. Spoken out loud.

Those are all logical truths to confront my illogical fears and deceptions. Helpful, but not enough frankly. When it all boils down to it, I have to remember that my identity is not based on my business— it is based in Jesus Christ, His death on the Cross on my behalf, and my current right-standing with God as a result. My primary purpose is not temporal, relational, or financial success— my primary purpose in life is that I become like Jesus Christ, and glorify God in the process. I might fail in business. I probably will, at some point or another, since I’m a sinful human being and that’s what we do (failure can take on many forms, you know). But when it all boils down to it, if my primary purpose is to become like Jesus and glorify God in the process, every one of those fears listed above? Their strength just drained. Like deflating a balloon. They’re not worth the time it took to write them out.

So… thank you, dear Jasmine, for helping to uncover that rubber band tying me to my fears and insecurities, and for helping my hands grasp scissors and cut myself free.

From now on, I’m going to kick those fears in the face, and be the confident, excited businesswoman I know I should be. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

And to all of you kind, generous souls who read this far— thank you for caring enough to read!!!  I can’t tell you how much it means to know that people actually care about what I have to say, even when it’s post full of brutally honest confessions.

If you made it this far, though, if you actually took the time to read this over the weekend, I suspect it’s because I’m not alone in my struggles. Perhaps there are others out there who, like me, honestly believe that we’re just fakes about to be exposed, or that we’re children sneaking around where we don’t belong, or we’re destined to fail and are just biding our time until it happens, or even that we’re going to be successful and we have no idea what to do with that thought. To those of you struggling with fears and self-deceit like me, I have this to say— you are not alone. So be of good cheer, and hold fast to truth. Speak words of truth to yourself, fight against those lies, do not let your fears control you.

So. What fears are you currently facing? What lies are you believing? What’s the truth, and how can you change?

I spent most of last week in Las Vegas for WPPI‘s annual convention and tradeshow. Soooooo good!!! It’s always like a shot of adrenaline/caffeine to my business’ bloodstream— a wonderful time to learn more about the photography industry, check out new products, network with other photographers, and catch up with dear friends. I spent a large chunk of my time with the folks at Showit, my website company, which is pretty much the best group of people I could wish to hang out with. Just a brief recap of the week…

Stayed at the MGM Grand’s Signature hotel. (so much better than last year’s place!!!)

Spent all day Sunday with Zach & Jody Gray. First in their platform class…

… and then in their “Get Engaged!!” workshop.

Loved sunrises the next morning

and hanging with these sweet ladies (Tori, Korie, and Melissa)

So grateful for David Jay and all that he has done to shape the wedding photography industry in the last few years!

Met, fell in love with, and inherited new sisters this week. (Emily & Kristin, a darling mother-daughter duo at Lifesong Photography)

The brand-new, not-yet-for-sale, much-anticipated Canon 1DX. There I was, chilling in the CPS lounge picking up my camera from a good cleaning, and I take a look over to the right and see it sitting there. I kind of went crazy, which in full & literally terms means— stopped in shock, screamed, ran over, picked it up, and kissed it. The guys behind the counter didn’t know what to do with me, and neither did I. It was a totally shocking, unexpected reaction for all of us. But there you have it! Cue Kip’s Wedding Song, because I’m a geek at heart, y’all. Note: for all those who asked, 1) I did not buy it. Yet. and 2) I was the first to kiss it. The Canon guys told me so as they were wiping tears of laughter from their cheeks. Truestory.

After touching such a beauty, I had to do something to content myself with my own camera again. Aka, self-portraits.

My last night in Vegas a small group of us VA-DC-area photographers went to dinner together. And rented a stretch F-650, just for kicks and giggles.

I took my Holga, all impressed with myself for shooting medium format film for fun. (Shooting for fun isn’t a common activity, though it’s something I intend to practice more). I shot 3/4 of a roll with the lenscap on. And I call myself a photographer…

(loving late nights, time with friends, lots of coffee, gorgeous desert light, great sessions, and taking notes on paper)

In other news, I’m headed to Las Vegas this afternoon for WPPI, a hugely awesome, annual photography convention. It was one of my biggest 2011 kickstarts last year, and I’m stoked beyond words for what it will do for me this year!!

Colleague: A partner or associate in the same office, employment or commission. a fellow worker or member of a profession, etc.

.  .  .

It can be easy, in this very small world of wedding & portrait photography— where people tend to know one another, and work is familiar, and the number of potential clients and number of available photographers seems to make finding solid work near impossible— it can be easy to become cynical, to feel the need to fight hard for work, and in doing so, fight hard against all of the other photographers out there. There’s the ever-present temptation to fear that the photographer over there in the corner showing off her sample albums to a client, that somehow her presence in my usual coffee shop will rob me of my ability to pay my rent next month. There’s the temptation to pull back from photographer/friend relationships, to stop networking and meeting new people, to scorn and slander the “newbies,” and out of a sense of self-preservation, to put others down in an effort to find stability.

Self-employment is difficult. The photography industry has unique challenges and roadblocks to overcome. But I think it can be done well, without intense competition or putting others down. A few things that I’ve found helpful to keep in mind:

1. Collaboration is more powerful than flying solo. Two’s company, three’s a crowd. And when it comes to having a safety net, the more the merrier. If I view other photographers as competition, as a threat to my livelihood, then cut off a very powerful support system. Self-employment doesn’t offer much in terms of a safety net, but having other people to support me in my job (and who actually get it), that’s not something to quickly dismiss. It’s so helpful to have people to bounce ideas off of, to ask questions to, to use as a source for equipment recommendations, etc.

2. Haters gonna hate, but don’t join in. Any time we pull a group of people together to talk about something important to us, especially something as innovative as the photography industry, there will usually be someone in the group who longs for “the good ol’ days,” who dislikes change, and who resents all the newcomers who approach things without the mental restrictions of “been there, done that, always done the same way.” Sometimes these more experienced folks are right in what they say. But if it comes to trash-talking, I think it’s best to not join in, even if what they say seems to be right. And don’t listen to it, either… it only serves to taint your outlook on life and work.

3. Genuine care for people is the best form of marketing. “Genuine” being the operative word. I don’t mean that you should try to conjure up some sort of “care for others” to try to get more business. You can’t conjure up or fake genuineness. I mean that being genuine, intentionally caring for and investing in other people (clients and colleagues) will go farther than any magazine ad, any Facebook page, any form of viral marketing. I can post an album on facebook with gorgeous pictures, and people will think, “oh, she’s a good photographer,” and quickly forget me. Or I can take an interest in my clients and colleagues, invest in their lives, and do what I can to make their lives better than it was before I met them. Genuine care makes an indelible mark on the mind and heart.

4. I remind myself that I’m not ultimately responsible for my well-being and stability. Philippians 4:19 says that God supplies every need. Matthew 6:25-34 says to not be anxious about anything, for God knows all of my needs. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 says not to set my hope on the “uncertainty of riches, but on God.” The Bible clearly teaches that God is the one who chooses to give, and God is the one who chooses to withhold. Since I know that He is a kind, caring, trustworthy God, I find great comfort in setting aside worry and trust Him to bring clients as He sees fit. And if I really believe that God is the one who gives and withholds, that means that it’s HIS responsibility to bring me clients, and my responsibility to love people as He has loved me.

5. Because of #4, I keep Phil. 2:3-4 as my mantra. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

6. Competitors fight against each other. Colleagues play on the same team. I find that if I view other photographers as competition, it becomes a “Sarah vs. The World” fight to just make it through each day. But if they’re colleagues, other photographers become teammates, fighting with me for the same goal. DRASTIC DIFFERENCE!!! I’d much rather work with people toward a common goal than fight against everyone else to achieve my own goal. Sure, my personal goal is going to look a little different than everyone else’s goal, but that’s okay. I’m still there to support them, and I know they’re there to support me.

.  .  .

So what about you? Collaborator, competitor, or somewhere in between? What helps you stay focused and keep good perspective?

When it came to Jack & Jessica’s after-wedding shoot, we already had a good mutual trust established from time together (meetings, engagement session, and wedding), so a theme wasn’t necessary to relax them, but we decided it would be helpful for focus and structure, anyway. We knew that the key point would be the jumping-off-the-dock shot, but other than that, it was free space and time. Which can get awkward. What to do before? What to do afterward? I’m a pretty big fan of planning, so I came up with an inspiration board, sent it to them for review and feedback, and we went from there. The result? Well, you saw it last week, but if you missed it, take a peak at it here.

Sidenote: Pinterest is my best friend. #notevenjoking. If you’re not already on it, feel free to email me for an invite and get in on the action.