It was a trying weekend. Yes, trying because it was so incredibly full of time with people, activities, responsibilities, and events that I hardly had time to breath. Yes, trying because of this weird headcold / allergy issue / no-voice thing that decided to puff my head and sabotage my lungs (and still wants to hold on, darned thing). Yes, because the combined exhaustion and under-the-weather feeling left me with very little grace buffer for the people around me.
But more significant than any of these, it was a trying weekend for me because of my heart. You see, I’m a Christian. That means that I believe that Jesus Christ really lived, really was the Son of God, really was also God Himself, really died in my place to atone for my sins before God the Father, and really rose again, bodily, to symbolize that His sacrifice had been accepted. I believe that He chose me to belong to Him, and that I am no longer my own— He is Lord of my life, the one who has the final say in all decisions, and who masterfully directs the events of my life to bring Him the most glory and to bring me the most joy. I believe that He is the very definition of kindness, love, faithfulness, and wisdom, and that I can and should trust Him to direct my life well.
This weekend was trying because my heart wanted its own way more than it wanted God’s way. It makes no sense to distrust the God who defines trustworthiness, but… I’m weak, and I’m selfish, and I would rather have what I want than submit to what someone else wants for me.
Today I’m taking some time to realign my heart with Christ, to remind myself that I can trust Him.
My favorite prayer from The Valley of Vision, which was very, very helpful for me this morning:
Glorious Jehovah, my Covenant God,
All Thy promises in Christ Jesus are yea and amen, and all shall be fulfilled. Thou has spoken them, and they shall be done, commanded, and they shall come to pass.
Yet I have often doubted Thee, have lived at times as if there were no God.
Lord, forgive me that death in life, when I have found something apart from Thee, when I have been content with ephemeral things. But through Thy grace I have repented; Thou has given me to read my pardon in the wounds of Jesus, and my soul doth trust in Him, my God incarnate, the ground of my life, the spring of my hope.
Teach me to be resigned to Thy will, to delight in Thy law, to have no will but Thine, to believe that everything Thou doest is for my good. Help me to leave my concerns in Thy hands, for Thou has power over evil, and bringest from it an infinite progression of good, until Thy purposes are fulfilled.
Bless me with Abraham’s faith that staggers not at promises through unbelief. May I not instruct Thee in my troubles, but glorify Thee in my trials. Grand me a distinct advance in the divine life; may I reach a higher platform, leave the mists of doubt and fear in the valley, and climb to hill-tops of eternal security in Christ by simply believing He cannot lie, or turn from His purpose.
Give me the confidence I ought to have in Him, who is worthy to be praised, and who is blessed for evermore.
these are a few shots of the Library of Congress. perhaps my favorite building in DC.